So many times, I have come across many people who come to me to help them because they do not know what they should be doing? They say things like: “Should I be doing this or that” or “go this way or that way”? By God’s grace I have been able to help many based on what my own coach showed me many years ago…..
So, when I get this question of “help me”, I still end up having to ask, “What do you want” because sincerely, if I do not know what you need help with, I can’t help you. That is the truth! And nobody can help you if you do not know what you want. This is the honest truth. It is okay not to be sure or be clear about what you want but you MUST have an idea of what is it you want.
Today on Motivation for Monday, I will be sharing TIPS on how to know what you want so you can live a meaningful, fulfilling and purposeful life.
What Do You Want? Did you know that this is a question MANY OF US can’t answer. And because we can’t answer that very simple question, many of us are living unhappy, unfulfilled, doing jobs we do not like, living in places we do not want to live in, mixing with the people we do not want to mix with and on and on.
Guess what? If you do not know what you want, you are most likely to settle for less than you deserve and again, nobody can help you find answers. So, if you have ever been in a situation of I don’t know what I want, here are a few things to try:
The Only One Who Can Help You Is You
If you may guess anything right about me, you would know that I encourage everyone to have a Mentor or a Coach. This is because in life, we may know a lot but nobody knows it all. Many successful people have Mentors / Coach. Even the Lord Jesus Christ have someone to look up to – God, the Father.
Before I share my next point with you, the first thing to know is that the only one who can truly help you is YOU. YES, you may not be clear about what it is you want but you MUST have an idea of what you want. So, you can start out by listing the things you do not want. For example,
I do not want to be a Shopkeeper or Sales Assistant or a Bus Driver or a Teacher or Anything (slot it here)
I do not want to travel to this year
I do not want to invest my money in that project etc
Then you can start writing down the things you think you want. For example,
I think I want to be a HR Professional or a Nurse or a Business Owner or a Singer or Anything (slot it here)
I think I want to travel for my birthday next year
I think I want to save my money instead of investing it in any project.
Those are just vague ideas. Your own ideas could be in any area of your life – career, travel, relationship, finance or anything you want. Anything at all.
Write Those Things Down
All the thinking we do happens in our mind or head. However, because most of us lead a very busy life, there is so much we can retain in our heads. We can’t store all our thoughts in our heads so we must look for a way to save those thoughts. So, you do not forget all your thoughts all together or at all, it is best to write them down. You see, when you write your thoughts down, although you may not be clear, you are likely to have a plan or find your next step eventually from those thoughts. Most importantly, you won’t forget what you are thinking.
Also, when you write things down, you are most likely to go back to those things, work on them and possibly, begin to find clarity from your thoughts which you have written down.
Let’s take for example a shopping list
When you make a shopping list before heading to the shop, you would save time, money and stick with your plans. So, this is what I mean – when you get to the shop, you go to exactly where the things you want to buy are, you buy them and go. Whether you know it or not, this simple process helps you save time and money.
When it comes to writing things down, it saves you the headache of thinking about them in your head without taking any action, it gives you a lead to where you should go and it gives you an idea of what you want, even though you may not be sure.
So write things down even though you are not clear. We will talk about what to do again in a bit……
Mentoring, Coaching or Group Help
Like I said above, it is important for everyone to have some sort of mentors or coach and in different areas of life their lives. If you do not have any mentors, you may want to seek one. After writing all of those things you think you want down, find someone who is successful in that area or someone who knows what you don’t know about those things and speak with them. Don’t forget, you can’t go to a mentor with the idea of “I don’t know what I want”. For them to help you, you still have to give them a rough idea of what you think you want……
So, if your mentor asks you, “what do you want” or “what do you need help with”?
You can always say, well, I am not sure about those things BUT I have a rough idea of the things I don’t want and the things I want. You see, with this simple step, your mentor or coach will be happy to help you. Without this step, a very busy mentor/coach may not be able to help you.
From the information you give to a mentor/coach, together, you will be able to find answers and then a way or plan to achieve those things. This is exactly, how I help everyone I have worked with after my own coach helped me many years ago.
I may not know what you want but the rough idea you give to me may help us get a clearer picture of what you want and then create a SMART (specific – measurable – attainable – realistic – time bound) how to’s on how to achieve your goals.
A Coach would work with you the same way but you may need to invest money in coaching. If you can’t find yourself a mentor or a Coach, a group that focuses on an area where you need help may be a good alternative so you can rub minds and share ideas. Be careful not to choose a group that would waste your time or make you more confused. Be careful. You can also book a clarity call with me HERE
Try Those Things Out
While I would love to say the number 3 point above is a must, it is also possible not to find or know someone or a group where you can get help. If that is the case, you can also go ahead and start trying out those things you think you want. Let’s take Career for example, if you think you may want to be a Teacher, you can seek an unpaid internship for about 6 months to see if this is what you really want. With my own Career, this was exactly what I did and I am now “living the life” in my career 🙂 Thank God!
When you do something repeatedly, you are very likely to figure out if that thing is for you. If after doing something repeatedly for a while and you don’t like it, it may be that the thing is not for you. You see, the things you like brings you fulfilment and purpose even if you do not get paid for it.
Let me give you an example, I do not get paid for every blog I write here but it gives me FULFILMENT & PURPOSE to know that I am helping someone out there with my work…..this is what I mean.
When you try out something and you do not quiet like it, give yourself time at it and if you do not like that thing, don’t be afraid or ashamed to acknowledge that you do not like the thing. This is not a case of quitters never win, it is a case of finding fulfilment in what you do. If after trying out something and you do not like it, try something you think you may like till you find what you TRULY like.
Prayer is Key
You know there is no way I would talk to you about anything and not ask you to pray about it. After all said and done, God is still superior to all. If you are not sure about anything, pray about those things. Whether big or small, prayer works. You see, the still small voice in your heart is always the voice of God. Some people call it instinct. Yes, it is instinct but that is the voice of God telling you which way to go. So, if you are not sure about anything, pray about those things and listen to that still small voice, then do what your instinct tells you – that is the voice of God. And guess what, God never leads you wrong.
Other Things to Try
Create a Vision Board: Learn how to do so HERE
Get a Journal & Write Your thoughts Down: Learn the Importance of Journaling HERE
Learn From Others: this one is not a usual option but when you learn from others or pick their brain, sometimes, you get clarity.
Connect With Yourself: By spending time alone and meditating, you connect more with yourself and you get some clarity. Learn How to Care for Your Mind, Body and Soul HERE
To Learn More About Finding & Fulfilling Your Purpose, Check Out My Amazon Bestselling Book, Use What You Have.
My Second Amazon Bestselling Book, Create the Life You Want Will Teach You 7 Strategic Steps to Set Goals, Achieve Them and Be Who You Were Called to Be. It is currently listed for FREE. Enjoy 🙂
Old Photo: Wearing Zara Dress | Zara Cape | Micheal Kors Collection Bag | Forever 21 Sandals.
I want to thank you so much for stopping by today and for reading. I do hope that you learnt a thing or two from this post and I hope after this, you can truly answer that question, “What Do You Want”? Sincerely, for us to be able to live purposeful and have a meaningful and fulfilling life, we all must answer that question, what do you want and continue to work on becoming those things till we become them……
I want to wish you the very best or now and for always.
Much Love, Mojisola