Although I have some exciting and inspiring ideas to write or talk about, I haven’t necessarily been motivated or had the zeal to share. It is so unlike me to not want to, afterall, I am the encourager, the motivator and the giver but it was life – life happened to me in a way that I didn’t expect, in a way I am still trying to comprehend, in a way that I may not be able to fathom. It was life, it was the death of a loved one, it was the death of Olasumbo, it was the death of the one I could once call my friend…..
Olasumbo was my childhood friend. We grew up together – went to the same primary school and sat next to each other in primary five. We eventually went to different schools – she, to a boarding school and myself to a day school. However, whenever Sumbo returned home from school, she would show up to mine giving me all the gist of boarding house. As we grew older, we became closer doing our own thing. Although we were never together, we were never apart. She was my friend!
Tribute to Olasumbo
Olasumbo, to live is to serve and to serve is to live. Although your life seem to us like a candle in the wind, you lived a life of service with a smile on your face always. I want to specially say that I am truly grateful for your love, friendship in total humility, care and authenticity – you never faked any part of our friendship. I am grateful that truly, you served me, my family and everything that was mine you gave your all to. You loved me! I am grateful to have the privilege to serve you, I am grateful that you let me in, sharing your love and life with me. Olasumbo, I know we all will miss you but there is no doubt in my mind, that you are at the right hand of the Father enjoying the benefits and the privileges of been a child of God.
A Few Words of Encouragement to All of Us
Live Life to the Fullest
I believe very strongly that many of us know that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. In fact, the next second isn’t guaranteed. It is by God’s grace that we are alive and can hope for tomorrow or the gift of life the next day. While it is great to plan or save or invest for the future, it is also very important to live life to the fullest. Culturally, we have been programmed to be certain way – wear some clothes on certain days, have some meals on certain days, keep some dishes as special for certain days and on and on. If you grew up in some part of Africa, you may be able to relate to what I was referring to there.
For a while now, I have learnt to enjoy every season of my life and enjoy it to the fullest. For example, if I choose to use a particular dish to have my meal today, so be it or if I choose to wear the dress I wore to Church on a Sunday to a business meeting on a Monday morning, so be it (provided it is occasion appropriate) or if I decide to invest in a particular person with my resources, so be it. I had to teach myself to be mindful of this and to live life to the fullest. Everything I own was given to me by God out of His love for me, it is my job to enjoy those things – my family, my friends, my career and life in general.
So, I ask, what is it you truly want to enjoy this year – travel, change your closet, explore different cuisines etc, please do so, enjoy life to the fullest. Please be safe and be mindful to give to those who may be in need if this is something you enjoy doing.
It is Okay to Grieve – Cry, Weep, Mourn or Sorrow
Another thing I also think is culturally linked is telling people not to grieve or mourn their loved ones. Let me tell you, it is OKAY to mourn the people who mean something to you. To grieve properly is been HUMAN, please note that. While is okay to grieve, please take your time to do so but don’t dwell on it. Dwelling in sorrow can make us permanently lose our joy. In this process of grieving Olasumbo, I lost a dress size because I wasn’t eating well but doing regular day to day activities with little sleep because everything was just coming back to me – the good times we shared, the great conversations we had, the great memories of long term of beautiful friendship – they all were coming back and I know they are memories I would keep forever.
Dear people, if encouragement is your strength, please encourage a grieving person. Check up on them. Call them. Text them. Allow them to grieve their loved ones. Stop saying, “it is well” to people when it is indeed not well and then abandon them or assume they are okay. Instead encourage them with scriptures, gentle words of counsel, cook for them or offer to take them out and something good that may help uplift their spirit. If encouragement is not your strength, please stop forcing your style of handling a loss on them – just let them be without they having to deal with what you think is right for them…..at that point in time. Grateful for all the support I received at this difficult time.
PS: My other Sister-Friend (Ruka) sent me some scriptures to meditate on. If you are currently grieving, here they are: they would sure help encourage and give you hope for the passing of your loved ones: Isaiah 57:1-2; Proverbs 10:7a; 2nd Corinthians 1:3-4; 1st Thessalonians 4:13-18; Proverbs 116 vs 15
Check Up on People – Friends / Family / The People You Love
My greatest regret would have been not communicating with my friend all the way. Although Sumbo and I have never really been together, we were never apart – we spoke every other day – by call of text. She spoke with our son on his 15th birthday (September) and that was the last time we spoke but kept chatting by text till I stopped hearing back. I sent a text but didn’t hear back, then sent another one. It was when I didn’t hear back that I reached out to family to see what’s up….
Please, if you have friends and family, do reach out to them, check up on them and be sure you are in good terms with people or as many people as you can. If they are not the caller or the texter, you be the one who reaches out. If you do not hear from people when you call or text, don’t’ be angry because they didn’t return your call or text, it may just be that they are busy, sick, in trouble or even worse – I am been practical here. Please do reach out if you do not hear from the ones you love – after all, you love them.
There is so much on my mind I can’t pen down right now but I do know that this experience of losing this phenomenal woman friend of mine has taught me real life lesson. Currently, I am taking one step at a time and enjoying those memories we shared. My joy is that heaven has gained a rare gem sitting on the right side of the Father.
I want to wish you a happy new year and the very best this year and beyond. I sincerely apologise for been quiet and not saying a word, it was just very hard for me but I am doing better now and will keep updating the blog. I will announce some changes I am making to the blog soon. Thanks for the love and support throughout the years, you are all a part of my journey and I grateful for you for going on this amazing journey with me. Thank you very much.
Love Always, Mojisola